Dogaholics Anonymous
Good Evening. My name is Anu and I AM a dogaholic.
I would like to warmly welcome all of you to this month's meeting
of "Dogaholics Anonymous". Some of you are here tonight because a friend or
relative brought you here. You may be sitting here thinking that you are OK
and that you really don't need any help. It is not easy to admit that you
ARE a dogaholic, and it is even harder to bring yourself to a DA meeting for
help. You are not alone with your problem, because DA is here to assist you.
Now I have to ask you some questions:
- Can you say "Bitch" in public without blushing and feeling ashamed of such
language?
- Do you dream of a station wagon or a van when all other people dream of a
Ferrari?
- Or do you have more than one car, perhaps one for the dogs and one for all
other use?
- Do you spend your holidays going to dog camps, shows and other canine
events when everyone else is sunbathing on a beach?
- Can you discuss dog-related things at the dinner table that would make
most doctors leave in disgust?
- Do you consider formal wear to be clean jeans and nearly furless shirt?
- Does your apartment have sturdy floor material, dark textiles and non-
poisonous plants?
- Was your furniture and carpeting chosen with fur, washability and
durability in mind?
- Do you know what these mean: Sh-CH, U-Ch, W-98, HD A, tracking trial,
obedience trial, WW?
- Is your mail made up primarily of magazines such as Our Dog, The Working
Dog, Dog News...?
- Do you get up before dawn to go to dog shows, working trials, character
tests etc.?
- Do you find dried sausage cubes from your pockets all the time?
- Do you wear your jacket because a tennis ball always fits into a pocket?
- Do you think 300 km is still a short drive when you go to the show?
- Do you spend hundreds of euros per year to hear from different judges if
your god is worth 10 cm red or 10 cm blue ribbon?
- Do you find yourself voluntarily standing in the cold autumn rain on a big
field saying things like "sit", "heel" or "stay" or sitting in a cardboard
box in the middle of a forest?
- Do you remember the name of a person's dog sooner than you remember their
name?
- Do you find non-dog people boring?
- Do you have user ID for a dog discussion board? Or perhaps for several dog
discussion boards?
If you answered YES to one of the above, there is still hope.
If you answered YES to two, you are in serious trouble.
If you answered YES to three or more, you have come to the right place.
My advice to all of you with three or more YESes is to sit back and smile,
because you know that your life will always be filled with good friends and
good dogs and it will never be boring.
This was e-mailed to me. This is a E-Mail chain letter.